Quarter-Life Crisis

The past couple of weeks, I have been joking and dramatizing the fact that I am having a mid-life crisis at age 25. My husband corrected me - it is actually called a "quarter-life crisis." Now that I have a title for my dilemma, I am full steam ahead in my crisis and really unsure of a way out.

I followed the path I thought I was supposed to follow. I went to college and graduated with a Bachelor's Degree in English, with my field of expertise being Creative Writing. At the time, I wasn't entirely sure of what I wanted to do - when I was younger, I wanted to teach. By the time I got to college, I knew I could not bear to deal with rotten school children or spending any more time in school. I thought I would be able to find some sort of writing job. I had dreams of sitting at home with my laptop, in my home office, writing and editing to my heart's content.

Yet, here I am, just three years after graduation, working in an office at a desk job, not using any of the skills I went to college to improve. I thought this job would be a good place to work my way up and at least pay the bills until I was financially capable of pursuing my writing and editing goals. Only now, I feel like I have wasted yet another two years of my life in a field I am finding is not stable, nor is it something I would be interested in remaining at long-term. For now, it is fine...but how long can a person really stay at a job where they remain a flex employee with no hope of transitioning to a "real" (core) employee. I wonder if my time has come to move on and I am just too resistant to change to see where the signs are pointing.

Throughout my earlier years, I wrote and wrote and wrote. There was never a time when I didn't have a story (or two) in progress. Then, I hit college, and in turn, hit a wall. For whatever reason, my classmates in writing workshops were always full of criticism, none of which felt constructive. Other students, who were nowhere near as grammatically correct as myself, seemed to get praise for off-the-wall story ideas. The wackier, the better. It never failed - if I thought a story was ridiculous or disgusting, the other students and professors would love it. As someone with low self-esteem to begin with, this really hurt the confidence level I once had, after being asked if I wanted to try and publish anything by my high school Creative Writing teacher.

Since then, I have dabbled in blogging, SEO writing, and a stint with Examiner.com as the Milwaukee TV and American Idol Examiners. I still have not gone back to the excessive short story writing I once did. Frankly, I know I just need to get over what happened in college and start writing again, even if it is just for myself. I am never going to accomplish any goals or become the next Nicholas Sparks or J.K Rowling if I sit here and avoid writing. I can't let myself get so disappointed about my job - I need to remember that this isn't my future career. It is something I can do for now before I eventually move into my chosen field.

Well, that's a lot easier to say than do. So, here I am, stuck. I don't have the experience in the field I want to be in, so getting a job in that field is virtually hopeless. I could try and find a new position related to what I do now, but that really isn't my passion and feels like it would be wasting more time. I feel unsure of what step to take next, I worry I missed out on opportunities and wasted too much time, and I am afraid to make a decision because I am an incredibly indecisive person and can hardly figure out what I want to eat for every meal, let alone what career path to take. Therefore, I have determined I am officially experiencing a quarter-life crisis.

If you have found yourself in a quarter-life crisis and aren't sure where to turn, therapy might be a great outlet for you. Please see this link for further information: https://www.betterhelp.com/start/.